If you just found out your girlfriend is pregnant you may be dealing with a mix of emotions right now. That’s OK. What you are feeling inside is totally normal… even when a pregnancy is planned, men can still feel overwhelmed at times.
In the next few paragraphs we’ll help you break down some of the fears you may be facing right now.
How will I be able to provide for this baby?
You’re not alone in worrying how you’re going to make this work. Financial insecurity is one of the top concerns for dads and fathers-to-be. A 2018 study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health on fatherhood and fertility intention in men ages 18-45 found that 54 of the 58 study participants mentioned the pressure to “provide” for children and the importance of financial stability.
Our trained volunteers that work with families often see this worry turn out to be a good thing. You’re already thinking about your baby’s future and what might be expected of you – that can actually be a step in the right direction. Sometimes a baby is the motivation and purpose in life that many people seek. We have seen fathers advocate for themselves to get a raise at work. Others seek better employment when they learn a baby is on the way. Some get clean for their child or start saving for their own place.
And here’s the really good news – You don’t have to do this alone. Birthright helps with some of the expenses you might be worried about like the cost of diapers. Two weeks prior to baby’s due date, Birthright will provide a newborn layette filled diapers, wipes, clothing, bottles and more that will set you up for those first few weeks as you and your partner navigate parenthood together.
After that, Birthright provides a package of diapers and wipes monthly, as well as a clothing bundle seasonally. If there’s other financial or housing concerns, Birthright volunteers are well-versed in income related resources that may be available to you.
Remember, you don’t have to have it all Figured Out Today
Like we said above – it’s so good that you’re already thinking about your baby’s future and how you will provide for him or her. But remember, the baby won’t be born tomorrow. You have several months to figure out your game plan. That will be plenty of time to gather resources, supplies and make many trips to the Birthright office for further support when you need it.
The mother of your baby will see your strength when you remain calm about this situation and reassure her that everything will be ok. You could even be the one to take her to the Birthright office for her first appointment, proving you know how to help provide for her and this child.
That All Sounds Good But I’m Still Feeling Unsure
We can’t stress enough that this pregnancy is not something that needs to be figured out overnight. Take a deep breath and take your time sorting through your emotions. The stress and anxiety you might be feeling right now may subside after a few days or few weeks. Maybe the family member you thought would have a negative reaction turns out to be more supportive than you thought, especially after they’ve had time to process your news as well.
If it’s been a few weeks and you still feel unsure, Birthright can counsel you and your partner on other pregnancy options like adoption. Our Birthright office is a safe space to meet with an adoption representative so you can gather all of the information you need. Unlike abortion, adoption is a no-pressure option. By no-pressure we mean that you have time to change your mind about adoption – even after baby is born. Pennsylvania law states that birth parents must consent to placing their baby for adoption, as well as consent for the termination of their parental rights in a private adoption. A biological mother cannot give this consent until at least 72 hours after the baby is born. After signing, she has up to 30 days to revoke her consent.
One Step At A Time
Our final piece of advice is to take things one step at a time. And when you’re ready to take that first step, we pray that it’s a call to our office so we can walk alongside you on this pregnancy and parenting journey.
Get in touch today by calling 610-436-0773 or message us online.