You get a text from your best friend that reads something like this… “Freaking out right now! My period is so late… I think I might be pregnant! What do I do?!
The first thing to do is to stay calm. Reassure her that you are there for her and see if you can set up a time to meet.
“Are you serious? Don’t worry I’m here for you! Do you want me to come over or we can meet for coffee somewhere?”
Your friend needs to know she won’t be judged by you. Let her do most of the talking to get a feeling for her thoughts on this unplanned pregnancy. Some things you can do depending on what your friend is saying…
Validate
“You are dealing with so much.”
Your friend is probably dealing with a whole range of emotions, especially if she is truly pregnant and has pregnancy hormones to go with it. She may feel alone depending on her relationship status with the potential father of the baby. She also may feel uncertain and anxious about her future specifically if she is young and has other circumstances she is dealing with like work and school. Whatever it is she is feeling, it is valid and likely she is not the only woman to feel like this in response to an unplanned pregnancy. In fact, some of the latest statistics available from the Guttmacher institute show that about half of all pregnancies are unintended – it might make her feel better to know that her feelings and reactions are more common than she might initially think.
Reassure
“I’m here for you. We’ll figure this out together.”
To combat those feelings of loneliness, anxiety and uncertainty, it’s important your friend knows you are there for her and that you will help her figure things out. You can do this by building your friend up with encouraging words and by directing her to resources that can truly help.
Encourage
“You are strong. I’ve seen you handle ____________ before. You can get through this. I know a place we can go that has free pregnancy tests and we can talk to someone there about your next steps if the test is positive.”
Direct her to resources
Send your friend the link to schedule an appointment at our office or ask her if you can schedule one for her and come with her to the appointment as well. We promise the both of you will feel more hopeful about the future and better informed about your pregnancy options including abortion, adoption and parenting.
Check In on her
“Hey, how are you feeling? Wanna grab lunch?”
Lastly, remember to check in on your friend. Like we said, your friend is experiencing so many different emotions that can change by the day or by the hour even. She may still feel alone… or she may feel completely different about the pregnancy today from how she felt the day before. Text her or call her to let her know you’re there for her!